In Plato’s Symposium, we learn that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head with two faces. But Zeus, most powerful of the Greek gods, feared the humans’ power and tore them asunder, condemning them to eternally search for the other half of themselves – their soul mate.
That’s as good as any explanation for the magical, mystical, and most importantly – fated – union you can feel in the presence of another. For many, it’s the most beautiful, moving, and transformative experience for which one could ever hope. I’ve had it. Have you?
So why is it that – more likely than not – it all ends in tears?
Astrologically, the ‘soul mate’ phenomenon is inevitably bound up with Neptune – which moves in mysterious, illusive ways. Neptune is counter logical and doesn’t play by the rules. Neptune is of another world, luring us into pursuit of a glamorous dream that takes us to places we’d never otherwise willingly have gone.
We all need some glamour in our lives. But when the dream is over you need to move on.
Does this mean you can never have a long-term relationship with your Neptunian ‘soul mate’? Of course not.
What it does mean is that unless your soul mate relationship has more holding it together than Neptune contacts, when reality shatters your rose-coloured glasses, either you or your beloved will be sneaking out the backdoor with a grin.
The following is a brief outline of the various ‘soul-mate’ synastry aspects between your chart and another’s (the closer the aspect – the stronger the effect):
Neptune/Moon – the Moon person has an earthy stability that makes the Neptune person feel safe. The Neptune person sees the Moon person as the only one able to provide much-needed non-judgemental love. Neptune believes the Moon will always be there for her. Initially the Moon responds positively to Neptune’s needs and does all she can to provide sympathetic care. But as the bonds grow stronger, the Moon often becomes progressively more possessive; Neptune then feels overwhelmed and quietly slips away.
Neptune/Mercury – Neptune views Mercury as a clever companion and guide who can provide insightful answers to Neptune’s pressing questions. Often the dialogue between these two is poetic and inspired. Yet both planets (given the circumstances) can be shameless liars. Neptune uses her mirroring powers to please at all costs. For Mercury (governed by the god of tricksters and thieves) truth is always a relative business. In the end quarrels and misunderstandings are inevitable – and it’s what each of you do then that matters.
Neptune/Venus – this contact has provided inspiration for poetry and fiction from the beginning of time – for it inevitably involves the pain of illicit (and often unfilled) desire. While Neptune fantasizes about the physical consummation of a mystical love, Venus waits impatiently (and perhaps indefinitely) for Neptune to take action. The problem is that Venus wants to be loved through (and for) her body – while what Neptune really loves is Venus’ soul. This aspect reflects the intoxicating feeling of ‘being in love’. Yet often it only produces a broken heart.
Neptune/Mars – the sheer strength of the sexual pull between these two ensures trouble. Neptune sees Mars as her invincible champion– tough, potent, decisive, and ready for battle. In turn, Mars feels fulfilled with a worthy cause for which to fight. Yet if Neptune can’t acknowledge her dependency on Mars, she’ll undermine him so as to ensure he doesn’t go off crusading for someone else. Often this results in the classic ‘not tonight but maybe tomorrow’ script where Mars is kept eternally waiting. On-going frustration may draw cruelty and violence from Mars. The less Neptune understands her own capacity for aggression, the darker their relationship becomes.
Neptune/Jupiter – involves a profound sense of shared religious or spiritual commitment. Jupiter’s quest for meaning and optimistic vision of the world provides Neptune a solid hook for her own – often inarticulate – yearnings. Yet because both Jupiter and Neptune share a taste for the boundless, this aspect can end up with the blind leading the blind. Jupiter cajoles Neptune into some folly into which Neptune happily follows. When it all goes wrong (as it usually does), disillusionment inevitably follows.
Neptune/Saturn – involves a meeting of archetypal opposites. Saturn (the strong, worldly, paternal figure) overtly builds while Neptune (elusive, vulnerable, and distinctly of another world) subtly undermines. When Saturn-Neptune aspects go wrong, they go very wrong. They can generate an intensity of anger and need to inflict emotional pain that becomes unbearable for both parties. However if handled with care (and maturity), this aspect has the greatest potential for healing. Neptune can offer Saturn a tangible sense of hope and faith while Saturn can offer Neptune the stability through which she can become her most creative self.